This Week's Great New Thing

While enveloped in my very latest creative rut, it occurred to me that maybe I need to broaden my horizons a bit. So, I've decided to try something new every week, whether it's taking a trip to Tonga or buying that mysterious ugli fruit that I keep passing by in the produce aisle at the grocery store. And, just in case others out there may be interested, I thought I'd chronicle in a blog my baby steps into some of these hot (or tepid) new frontiers. Hope you enjoy it. --S.L. Malone

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Six-Week Body Makeover


Editorial Note: Technically, I began this process two weeks ago, but since this is my first post, I reserve the right to alter the timing just a little bit. Call it poetic license.

After months of careful belly and butt monitoring, my sweetie and I determined that our respective girths were spiraling a bit out of control, and with the very real threat of bathing suit season looming, we made the commitment to try Something New to get back into our "good body" jeans. We were not WAY out of control, mind you--I'm a relatively little thing at 5'3", and just wanted to trim away about 20 or so of my 150 pounds and get back into my usual size 8, if not down to a 6 (be still, my heart!). My sweetheart, Sam, had been busy nurturing that ubiquitous middle-aged belly that magically begins to grow the day after a man turns thirty. That was his only area of excess flesh, however, a fact that irks me to no end as I examine my blossoming frame in the mirror.

At any rate, during an episode of Extreme Makeover (accompanied by a few truffles and some red zinfandel), we decided that we dug Michael Thurmond, the resident post-op fitness guru who uses stomach crunches and sweet potatoes to chisel out the David-esque masterpiece hidden within each of his subjects. Eureka! Enter the Michael Thurmond Six-Week Body Makeover. With bated breath, we laid out the ingredients of the makeover kit, watched the peppy intro video, constructed our respective shapes from a library of disturbing cardboard body parts, and voila! A customized plan for our body types unfolded in front of us with majestic simplicity. It seemed that just a few simple steps were needed to get us both back into fighting form:

  • Eat five times a day, every day (break my heart)
  • Do 18 minutes of strength training twice a week (piece of cake, especially using the handy resistance band included in the Makeover Kit)
  • Walk 45-60 minutes, 4-5 times per week (for those of us who are unemployed, not an issue)
  • Limit our diet to prescribed (meaning human versus standard American) serving sizes of lean protein, complex carbs, fruits and veggies (that means no salt, no fat, not even any olive oil--again, for those of us who are unemployed and can cook at home every day, not an issue)
  • Drink around 100 ounces of water every day (provided you have time to make trips to a bathroom every 15 minutes, not an issue)

So, we plowed ahead, water bottles in hand. Eating the right foods five times a day has been a challenge, since we both travel quite a bit professionally, but that's really been the biggest hurdle. So far, Sam's down about ten pounds, and I've lost five (even taking into account the water I'm retaining at the moment--but this is merely a temporary molestation).


The Thurmond plan allows for one "cheat day" per week after one has reached one's goal, but we've decided to employ that option now, since we're doing great and so that we don't fall off the wagon at any other time. Today is our first cheat day, and we'll be celebrating with Oreos, pizza and a chocolate shake at the 50's-style malt shop around the corner. Just another benefit of that five-meals-a-day requirement.

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